Boxes we build, lies we tell…

There is friction on the fundamental level, governing our lives from hidden corners of our mind. On one side Life wants us to constantly move, change, learn and grow, to flow in unison with the entire Creation that does the same, every second of it’s manifested reality. Like a water drop in the river, we are meant to let go of any fears and concepts of where we “want” to be heading, and simply enjoy the ride, bumps, rocks and all, knowing that we are taken care of and that we will inevitably end up exactly where we are supposed to be.

On the other side, our mind constantly builds glass walls and boxes around us, trying to protect us from everything new, good or bad, pleasant and unpleasant, under the pretext of avoiding pain or suffering. For every person we meet and lose, a glass wall comes up. For every event in our life that hurt us somehow, another. For every success or failure, same. Our mind keeps searching for patterns everywhere, presuming that if something happened, or almost happened once, it will again.

These walls are transparent to keep us believing we are viewing the world as it is through them, and not clearly seen unless we stare straight at them, so eventually, we build a maze of these walls, so complex and intricate we get lost in it, often unaware of its existence. Layer upon layer upon layer, until the light of the true world becomes so refracted, reflected and twisted that all we end up seeing is a version of the world and life our own mind created.

And the bigger problem – with each wall a little lie comes, a series of thoughts, conclusions and affirmations that act as mortar, keeping the wall firmly in place, adding on to the previous thoughts and conclusions and lies we told ourselves to make it easier to move on to tomorrow.

Spiritual work isn’t a peaceful, quiet process. It is a constant battle between these two outlooks on Life; between Flow and Acceptance and Protections and False concepts that these protective layers are made from. Life, by it’s very design, simply keeps flowing forward. It is not possible to isolate ourselves from the world and the lessons it brings. We can exist in a bubble for a while, using enormous amounts of energy to sustain it and the false impressions it is built from. But energy wants to flow, as it’s in tune with Life itself, so it will at some point simply vanish, leaving us tired and exposed and empty.

Everything in life is designed to break our walls and bring us back to the ever-flowing river of Life, while everything in our mind is designed to make sure we only make minimal movements and changes, only enough to sustain the lies we tell ourselves and to convince ourselves that each tiny step is an enormous stride and requires a big effort, so maybe we are not ready, and we should do more sometimes later.

And so it keeps happening – Life breaks our walls wanting to free us while our minds build and re-build in a futile attempt to protect us from imaginary enemies and suffering that only exists because our perceived inability to accept the Flow. And just like waves, given time, turn stones into pebbles and sand, our walls can only last for so long.

The mind is shifty and smart and coy. The voices in our head often make so much sense we barely question them at all, but they twist the truth and use another layer we identify with, our Ego, to create sophisticated views on the world, events, people and even our own emotions. So complex and sophisticated these fabrications of the mind are, that we completely and naturally mistake them for the complexities of Reality.

And yet, every now and then, no matter how much we convince ourselves of a certain truth, Life exposes it for what it is – just another concept our mind built. Tears flow, pain comes, and out of it, we grow every single time.

We resist it, of course. It is easier to believe that the danger lies somewhere on the outside, rather than within our own minds. It is easier to blame others for our pain, rather than to realize that pain is just another creation of our mind, to prevent us from tearing down any more walls. So that next time we remember that pain and who or what we have attributed it to, rather than lies we created to sustain it. Next time when anything or anyone triggers those memories, we will know to shut it down immediately.

Of course, that is not Living, merely getting by. So eventually, even if we don’t remove them ourselves, those walls will crumble under their own weight. Our return to Light is unavoidable, the only thing our mind can do is prolong it and fill it up with false, conditional happiness and false, conditional unhappiness, both of which will crumble under any real pressure, and a lot of pain and needless suffering in the moments between.

And, of course, none of this is a mistake. Creation doesn’t make those. It is just a system that’s been put in place to make sure we progress and grow. We grow through experiences and Knowledge integrates itself truly only after we feel the exaltation of the Truth after Lies fall apart. For that, we need to build lies first. To appreciate the Peace we go through a lot of friction. To be grateful for good people in our life, we need to lose some. To be able to observe the mind’s lies, we need to believe them first. To find Love we need to feel the lack of it.

Of course, all this need not be so painful. It’s never meant to be easy, but it doesn’t have to hurt that much. Once we realize how it all works, we let go of our struggling and accept the situations, people, events and circumstances. We remind ourselves that everything changes and so too will this, whatever “this” might be at any current moment.

We remind ourselves that Mind resists, but Soul wants to flow, unattached to short-lived ideas of the mind. We remind ourselves that Mind judges and points fingers. It looks for imperfections in everything and everyone, trying simply to perform its main function – observing the world around us, scanning for potential danger. The mind isn’t “bad” or “evil” or “mistaken” in any way, it is simply a device programed for certain tasks, and it does it diligently and superbly.

Problems arise from the simple fact that we are not monitoring it. We live on autopilot of Mind and Ego – most of us aren’t even aware that there is more, so how could it be different? We respond to the voice(s) in our head, not knowing they are only the sounds of the engines running, nothing more. They should not determine how we feel or react to situations, people and emotions that arise constantly.

So, in time and through a lot of smashed glass walls, we learn to observe. We learn about deeper truths and gradually shift our attention inwards. There is always Peace there, always Joy; no fear, no worries. No expectations, no goals, no lack of anything. We start hearing the hum of the Universe, within and without.  And once we are familiar with that sound, that feeling, no amount of external tribulations can make us forget it, ever. Like a life ring, it will always keep us floating, no matter what life brings. And it’s always there, in the seemingly empty space between two thoughts. Listen, listen carefully until you become it.

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